哭泣的根源來自恐懼,恐懼的根源來自對前途的不確定性。
有個辦法是將最壞最壞的情況想出來,使你能確定不會有更壞的情況。如果你最壞的情況都能承擔,心也就能安定下來。
論文不管寫得出寫不出,都沒有最壞的情況。
你不想搬家,又怕搬家會不能畢業。 似乎不能畢業是最差的情況。 不能畢業最差的下場是什麼呢? 拿不到博士學位。
拿不到博士學位最差的下場是什麼呢? 街頭討飯嗎? 不會吧? 被朋友同學取笑? 不會吧? 父母親不原諒? 不會吧? 認識你的大家都站在你這邊。
在異鄉多年,就為了拿個博士學位,將來也好回國找個好工作,或者在美國有個好發展。缺了一個學位當然有點可惜,卻不是世界末日。 在台灣博士也沒什麼好混的,在美國你有文章,有數據,有研究能力,應該不會有找不到工作的煩惱。
身而為人,不只一條路可以走,實際上路很寬廣的。我相信你一定會有個很好的出路,至少一定會有出路。這出路不一定比拿到博士學位畢業更差。
3 則留言:
不是你自己,說的當然輕鬆啦。
如果說只到最後三個月就可以拿到學位,你應該就不會說,沒拿到也不會怎麼樣吧。
沒拿到當然不會怎樣,只是這樣我未來人生的規劃完全要改變。有些人喜歡改變,我並不是那樣的改變。就像是一個唸了醫學院七年,快畢業的人,最後家裏沒錢了,你要他怎麼樣? 換個學校繼續唸? 不唸了? 還是笑笑的說,沒拿到學位也無所謂?
我只是對於要去跟老闆談判這件事情感到很anxious,因為在我的生涯規劃裡面,並不包含實驗室搬家,我需要在最後三四個月考慮搬家,畢業,找工作,搬另一次家的問題。
當然,沒有博士無所謂,只是我這七年等於白費了。兩三年前我有考慮過,不過我還是堅持下來了。現在我已經不知道在堅持什麼,只是為了最後一點點路吧。
沒有拿到博士,我爸媽應該會很失望吧。我也不希望讓她們失望呢。
於是就這樣一直勉強勉強勉強。我真想跟我老闆說,幹,老娘不唸了,你自己去找人發data 吧。
you know who
I think I can provide you my 2 cents on this. Many years ago, I had a similar situation. My school is among top 5 in the US and I was couple months away from getting my Ph.D. degree. I landed a job offer in 30 days of job searching and never went back. Have I ever regret my decision? Absolutely! Not for myself, but I really feel sorry for my wife and my dad. Even I have a not-so-bad job here in the states, I still think I let them down. I guess it's the culture cross on every chinese's back. I know it's hard for you to make the decision, but may I suggest to hold tight for a little longer. After 10 years you will thank yourself for this.
J,
thanks for your message. i think the only remaining reason i am still here, and trying so hard, was because my parents. i did most of my phD for them, not actually for myself.
but i am really tired. not because i am not interested in doing phD, but this is a really crucial thing. learn more just makes me feels i know less....and there are so many good and telent people out there....and the efforts i spent already stressed me so much, and cause lots of problems on my body, all because i want a phD.
sometimes i really want to give up...as i say, the only reason i am still there, is because my parents. and they can't even help me...they were even mad at me once before that i took so long to get my phD....
oh..no...haven't got it yet.
張貼留言